You had a long distinguished career in the Military or Police before the bright lights of London stole your heart, and you decided to become a close protection bodyguard – after realising you could do it much better than Kevin Costner (Frank Farmer). After many years of chasing the dream, you realise everything they told you was a lie! So what do you do next? Don’t worry we have the perfect tongue in cheek ‘post CP career guide’ for you!
You could become a baggage handler; for years you’ve carefully counted those Louis Vuitton cases on and off the private jet, up and down the hotel floors in and out of hotel suites. Your shoulders and arms are well practised at holding those 30kg+ suitcases. Perfect practice for your new job at Heathrow airport! Only now you can let it all out and throw them around to your heart’s content, let all that pent up frustration out!
Be a Doorman, push it or pull it? It’s a 50/50 decision that most people get embarrassingly wrong. But not you, you can approach a door from behind a group of people, snap that arm out with confidence and instantly know which way that door opens. It’s a natural instinct you didn’t know you’d developed over the years – after getting it wrong and paying the consequences so many times before! Now the odds are stacked in your favour, you could become a doorman at one of London’s top hotels and earn twice the money you ever did in close protection for half the hours.
Why not rest those tired legs of yours and become a Chauffeur? Many times over your glittering CP career has the team leader or principal ‘specially selected’ you to drive the £100k motor due to your ‘superior driving skills and superb London knowledge’. Why not put your feet up and make a career out of it, after all, cars almost drive themselves these days, so it’s easy money!
Never mind the hills, you earned your calluses treading the shiny floors of Harrods, Harvey Nics and Selfridges for 8 hours a day! Why not become a Personal Shopper? You spent more than 50% of your career shopping for designer handbags, shoes and perfume, so it’s an easy transition.
Maybe you could become a Counsellor? You stood by your principal through thick and thin, no matter how much grief they gave you. You were their stress ball, their rock, their shoulder to cry on through good times and bad. You offered your noble advice even when it fell on deaf ears, you could easily turn your hand to counselling the damaged youth of today – which would be easy in comparison.
Or Childcare, I bet you’ve lost count of the number of times you were lumbered with the kids after being promised the 2IC spot on the team, only to be gifted with entertaining the kids for 12 hours straight each day.
If all else fails, you could become a Tour guide! They say time spent on recces is seldom wasted. You always thought those late-night recces were a waste of time, well you were wrong. Don that blue badge and share that knowledge, who wouldn’t want to know the best drop off points and layup points across the city! Now is your time to shine, there is life after CP after all.